Reindeer House pt.19.5
The decision to visit Elf Village was made with frightening ease.
“We need presents!!” Kyuupiddo declared, already halfway into his coat.
“And we’re NOT ordering them online!!” Rudorufu added sternly, arms crossed. “This is about thoughtfulness.”
“And fiscal responsibility,” he added, quieter. “And supervision.”
Thus, the reindeer were split into groups — because letting them roam freely would, according to Rudorufu’s calculations, “end civilisation as we know it.”
⸻
Group One: Dashaa & Bikkusen
Group Two: Donaa, Buritsen & Kyuupiddo
Group Three: Kometto & Puransa
Group Four: Rudorufu & Dansaa
⸻
Group One: The Carrying Capacity Crisis
Dashaa stood perfectly still in the middle of Elf Village’s main shopping street, arms already stacked high with bags.
“Darling, don’t slump!! Posture is everything when you’re being used as a living shopping cart ~!!” Bikkusen sang, emerging from yet another boutique.
“I said I’d carry stuff,” Dashaa muttered, face red. “I didn’t say I’d enjoy it.”
“Oh hush, sweetie — you’re doing beautifully. The elves are staring.”
They were.
Elf Village, despite its holographic wreaths, automated sleigh traffic, and neon candy-cane signs, had never seen:
1. A fashion icon with antlers arguing with a deer-shaped forklift.
2. That forklift save a collapsing gift tower without breaking eye contact or losing a present from the precarious stack.
“Do you think Donaa would like velvet or faux fur?” Bikkusen asked.
“I think Donaa would like silence,” Dashaa said, adjusting his grip as three more bags were added.
⸻
Group Two: Immediate Public Endangerment
“Okay. Rule one.” Donaa said quietly. “No running.”
“Rule two!!” Buritsen added cheerfully. “If something explodes, we say sorry!!”
“What’s rule three?” Kyuupiddo beamed excitedly.
They paused.
“…Rule three can wait!!” Kyuupiddo decided, already sprinting off.
Within ten minutes:
• Buritsen had slipped on a magically self-polishing pavement tile.
• Kyuupiddo had somehow acquired three bags of candy, a novelty mistletoe launcher, and a live-updating “Naughty or Nice” wristband.
• Donaa had been attempting to keep them both out of trouble, but was always a few steps behind.
“Elf Village is so educational!!” Buritsen gasped happily as alarms rang somewhere behind them.
An elf shopkeeper stared, frozen in horror.
“Are they… insured?”
⸻
Group Three: Quietly Emotional Damage
Kometto stood in front of a small stationery shop window, eyes sparkling.
“They sell handmade paper here…”
Puransa sighed, already tired. “You’re thinking of writing her another poem, aren’t you.”
“…Maybe. But you like paper too!!”
Inside, Kometto agonised over envelopes, wax seals, and ink colours with the gravity of someone choosing a wedding ring.
Puransa leaned against a shelf, watching quietly.
“You know,” Puransa said eventually, “you don’t need to be perfect for someone to like you.”
Kometto blinked. “…Is this advice for me, or are you projecting again?”
“…Both.”
They left with a carefully wrapped letter set — and Puransa pretending very hard that he didn’t also buy something sentimental.
⸻
Group Four:
Dansaa had been distracted by a window display and walked directly into a lamppost.
Rudorufu sanity was slowing draining.
⸻
Two hours later, Rudorufu stood in the town square, surrounded.
Dashaa was now carrying Bikkusen bride-style.
Buritsen had somehow gotten stuck inside a decorative sleigh.
Dansaa was taking selfies with confused elves.
Kyuupiddo was offering candy to strangers like a menace.
Kometto clutched his letter like it was sacred.
Puransa looked ten seconds from a nap-induced collapse.
Rudorufu pinched the bridge of his nose.
“This,” he said calmly, “is why we don’t leave the house.”
The elves applauded anyway. They’d never be bored again.
To be continued...